jealous

dear everyone.

topic of today is how jealous i get everyday.

it's all very true.

i was getting on my bus earlier this evening, and i happened to spot a beautiful woman. she had her hair tied up in a mini-ponytail. it wasn't that long, it was curly and it was a bit messy from the rain outside. it was perfect.
it made me jealous.
she also had the most fabulous jacket on that i've ever seen. it was pale white, with a romantic touch of embroideries and pockets. in the back it was tailored gorgeously.
can't find the words to describe it- it was perfect.
and it made me more jealous.
she was the optimal romantic model of all times. and she looked great even though the weather was killing the rest of the city's population.
she made me jealous.

once i got a chance to peek in a mirror, passing by one of the shops in the shoppingcenter, i found a blonde disaster. my lovely curls had decided to fall down dead into what looked like an old perm that needed to be replaced with something better. my face was all red from the chilly wind and the raindrops that had hit it. my skin was anything but smooth and bright and lovely romantical. my legs were fat in my pants, my feet were not pedicured and well, the list could have grown endlessly long had i not forced myself to keep on walking. not a good day to look in the mirror. the jealousy certainly didn't help.

hate these days.

Love,

the point of everything

my dear,
living the lovely life of faking fashion.
what is fashion?
today's topic.

maybe not the topic, but i feel a duty of explaining my thought behind this wonderous blog.

i love fashion. it amazes me. i've always been dreaming about the day when i get my own place, the day i leave my family- to start my real life. the serious one.

i've always been dreaming of living a glamourous life.
and i've always been dreaming of making clothes all day long.

i finally got a sewing machine last x-mas. it was the best gift ever. i've always wanted one, so that i could sit in my room and just let my creativity explode. i've always wanted to sit all alone and just sew and sew. create original things. clothes that i could wear which nobody else would have, clothes that would inspire others. i've always had tons of ideas of what i would like to do. the sad thing has been my lack of time. all that i've managed to do is some knitting as it's always possible to bring with me wherever i go.

the thing is, i'm serious about school. i wish i'll end up as a doctor, a surgeon or a researcher of some sort. maybe a combination of everything.

designing clothes doesn't count as something serious. that's just how it is. it's not a guarantee to a good way of life i guess, and moreover, i fear that i would walk around thinking about what i've could have been instead- the surgeon. thinking about the things i would be missing out on.

if i ever was to become this surgeon, i figured i would somehow find the time to make clothes and bags and shoes and whatever i wanted to in my spare time. you can't be a surgeon in your spare time if you're a designer. that's very true, as you all know.

so. to the fashion.

fashion is fascinating. and always unexpected. you never know what is going to happen. not really anyways.

but what is it, really?
fashion can be many things. for me, there are two categories. the first one is the public one. the one with the fashion shows, the one with the brands. the one with the expensive creations. the materialistic fashion category...
the second is the abstract fashion category. the abstract as in the fashion in our thoughts. our taste. our ideas. our feelings. everyone can make decisions. you decide whether you want to be nice to people or not. there's always the easy way, and the more difficult way. with the little inbetween-ways somewhere in the middle. you can be a bitch if you want to, it's easy. but it's nicer to be considerate and warm towards people- even though it takes much more energy.
abstract fashion is all about our decisions. i believe everyone creates fashion. we all decide what we want to wear. the abstract fashion is all about our creativity and our guts. how much do we dare to explore? what do you dare? are you capable of sewing your own garments and wearing them in public even though most people wouldn't dare calling them anything else than rags?

enough about the topic. enough from me.

Love,

hello dear world

this is the blog.

this is everything.

or this is nothing.

global warming. iraq. lipids. carbohydrates. diets. personal trainers. poverty. child labor.
(and the list continues)

there are many issues which are more important than fashion you may think.
perhaps.
perhaps not entirely.
that's your decision.

but i'm right.

i love fashion. i know you do too.

today is going to be a paragraph about the feeling. the feeling of true love.

the feeling of buying a fashion magazine. always a bit expensive in your eyes, but once you spot it in a store, you can't help yourself from buying it. it's there, and it's waiting for you.
the feeling of buying it instead of the chocolate bar that you had in mind from the beginning. wow, this is turning into something healthy. the feeling of rushing home with your new friend in your bag. the stress of trying to open the door as quickly as possible. the stress of finding the calmness and relaxation so that you can sit down, and just stare at the front page. the feeling of it. to move your fingers over the shiny material with that special smell that nobody really describes in the right way. the feeling of actually turning to the front page. discovering the first advertisement. the beautiful people in it staring into the camera. you trying to see what the photographer wanted you to see. looking for the significant details. note that this is just the advertisement.

the rest of the magazine will take over a week to look through. if you look through it properly and admire the work of the people that have made it all possible. the creative ideas that have formed the pages. the thoughts that were put into this magnificant work.

gosh, someone's getting really carried away you're thinking to yourselves.

but no, no.. you're wrong.
this is the true feeling of opening a magazine. you have to admit it.

because i'm right.

lots of love,